The New Years Honours List 2010

Some people might be suprised to know that the full honours list comprises of persons who are acknowledged for their services to science, healthcare, academia, research etc, you know the ones, those individuals who have made a difference to finding cures for cancer, Aids, erradicating things that damage and harm society . Yes thats right people that are working and changing society for the better.

As usual the only persons the media are quick to promote as being on that lucky list are those wonderful "celebs". Yes actors and actresses, sports "personalities", they are all announced as being the great and the good leaving all the other hard working souls to be found on the Government created PDF

http://www.direct.gov.uk/prod_consum_dg/groups/dg_digitalassets/@dg/@en/documents/digitalasset/dg_183669.pdf

Suprisingly there is a distinct lack of MPs listed I would have thought this year there would have been an extensive list "for services to the fraud industry".

James Joseph Caulfield must be elated in receiving an honour for his voluntary services to Disadvantaged People in Kenya. I will requote "voluntary". Yes a man that through his want to help others less fortunate in lands less affluent has been deservedly given recognition. A little further down the list is Jenson Alexander Lyons Button, For services to Motorsport. Now hang on a minute this guy earns millions for driving A fast car in cricles going nowhere fast! I will happily drive around the M25 for FREE if I can have an MBE! I do feel this kind of makes a mockery of the whole thing.

I did do a search on the Government PDF but alas nowhere to be found was "Sarah Davis for services to the Call Centre Sector"

Buggar, Damn and Blast. Maybe next year!

The Price of Books

The price of books is nothing short of incredulous!

If you are after a publication other than the inane and shallow ramblings of Katie Price or other non entities who churn out uninteresting "celebrity" autobiographies on the back of appearing in the Daily Star once, it would appear you have to be prepared to suck your teeth and re-mortgage the house.

I would not mind if the book was concerning a popular topic but "Building the Post War World" is hardly going to be appearing on the top of everyones "must read" list!

So refusing to hand over 35 quid to invest in this riveting read, I have decided to borrow The Tardis take my 35 quid to post war Britain and rebuild it myself. the added benefit of this being I will probably still have some monies left over for a Big Mac on my way back to 2010!

Happy Days and a Happy New Year!

British man said to be mentally ill executed in China

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/8433285.stm

The death penalty: I am totally opposed to it no matter what the crime committed is. A British man being put to death over some bloody drugs to me is quite sickening really. Other henious crimes the Chinese feel worthy of execution, totalling 60 offences include non-violent crimes such as tax fraud and embezzlement.

Good Lord we would have no MPs left if we lived in China! Maybe that might be a good thing, maybe the death penalty isn't quite so unthinkable after all!

On a lighter note singer Van Morrison has become a daddy at the age of 64, bless.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/northern_ireland/8433453.stm

His website claims the new offspring is: "the spitting image of his daddy". So thats wrinkly, saggy and akin to a bulldog chewing a wasp.

Ciao!

Buggar, Damn and Blast!

My inflated foot has prevented me from attending my OU tutorial, my head start is now a distant memory as I try and keep on track between gallons of tea and Co-Codamols.

Always a glutton for punishment and my own worst enemy I have enrolled for yet another course starting in February 2010 which will overlap my current one.

As for the news there has not been anything that is suitable for me to piss and whinge about, I could have had a blast at the unscrupulous MPs again and their floating duck houses but I have been there and need some new fodder to get my teeth stuck into.

I think it is going to be the Broadband tax but I must not digress I have work to catch up on! Nothing finer that Program Controlled input and Output on a Saturday morning! How I long for a big wad of Purple and a trip to Murderhell (and a new foot)

Keep ya pecker up people!

M150 Assignment Result In!

Who needs the Xfactor for finger biting stuff??

I have been waiting with great anticipation for my M150 first assignment result and check it out... 97%!!

Now that is worth a glass of the bubbly stuff! So cracked open the Jacobs Crack Sparkilng Rose (no Krug this week!) Gulp, Gulp.. but what is this?? OH NO, these meds I am taking from having my foot hacked at meant the bubbly did not have the desired effect.

It is not very often I actually have a worthwhile reason to get wasted and the one time I did it was an Epic Fail!!!

Oh well tonight I will just have to try again, using the excuse it is a Monday and I am not at work now until Jan 4th 2010!!

Bonfire Night is Gonefire Night, someone tell the Local Numpties!

Sunday November the 8th, The day we all lower our heads in respect for those brave souls who made the ultimate sacrifice so we can have the right to sit square eyed at our screens and so I can have my opinionated ramblings posted for the world to see from the comfort of my own home. The right to freedom, that is unless you enjoy puffing away on the evil weed (the legal variety I might add) in which case you are less deserving of rights than a machete holding psycho maniac... but I digress.

Rewind back to the 5th November, Gun Powder, Treason and Plot. Sat in my office trying to make the final amendments to my Open University Assignment I find my self in what sounds like an Afghanistan war Zone. Bangs, squeals, crackles and even bigger bangs. The atmosphere all hazy with the airborn particulates emitted from the cremating of stolen crates and numerous old Ikea flat packs. It was of course Bonfire night. A highly pointless symbol of Britishness, unless you have not yet reached puberty.

Old Guy Fawkes has a lot to answer for. I do not know what is worse, the fact his plan to bomb the International Hub of Expenses fraud was foiled or the fact that some 400 years later the Great British Public are still trying to reinact it in their back gardens. I certainly hope all those revlling in the festivities not once criticised those creepy, thieving buggars that supposedly look out for the tax payer.

Fast forward again to November 8th. I am still sat here square eyed and I am now being subjected to all the cheapscapes that have made the most of the local firework dealers that spring up in the last quarter of the year to make a quick quid, trying to be rid of stock so they can move on and set up some other seasonal, temporary enterprise.

In a world that has gone absolutely crackers with laughable health and safety laws (you can not have barbed wires around your house, as you have a duty of care to potential burglars) where persons are now exempt from applying common sense, I find it more than alarming that any Tom, Dick or Harry can buy a shed load of GunPowder and explosives and be given free reign to ignite it where ever they see fit.

Three days later they are continuing with this childish noise pollution. Grown men eyes wide open, heads tilted and mouths catching flies. Grown men mesmorised by the pretty colours and loud noises, without any consideration for those around them.

Please hurry up and banish these things from Suburbia, confine them to once a year, put them in the hands of trained Pyrotechnics. Right now there is one place I would love to stick The Numpty at No.22's Roman Candle.. and it is right up his f****ing arse!

Phillip Laing, Tie a knot in it, if it is big enough!

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1220579/Carnage-Shame-drunken-student-caught-urinating-war-memorial-mass-pub-crawl.html#ixzz0U2DaPTU7

This young man has decided he wants to do a sports degree in the city of Sheffield. Good for him it is nice to see young people wanting to do well in life and study towards something they have interest in. I wish I had done it when I was younger. I would have loved University, the nights out, the new independence, new friends. The opening of a new chapter and an opportunity to succeed and be respected for those achievements.

You see I love a drink, sometimes I will drink until my body can not keep itself upright, at which point I quietly get myself to bed and wake up with the mother of all hangovers. I never act in an orderly manner, never am involved in violence and mainly keep my drinking to the confines of my own home. All my health conscious and sporty friends seize the opportunity to scorn me for my recklessnes and punish my throbbing head with statements straight from a text book about the damage my overindulgence is causing on my body.

Obviously Mr "Im doing a SPORTS degree"Laing is not quite as sporty and health conscious as my friends allowing himself to get into such a state.

The lad only apologised through his university, because they made him, not because he had any remorse but he did it for his own advantage. He was scared his antics would get him thrown out of university. He should be and thrown out of Yorkshire to, for good. We have enough of our own, we do not need externals coming in and disturbing the peace.

Maybe I will go to his families gravestones and piss on them? Afterall I will not eat after lunch, go out and get totally smashed and bang I have an excuse to do what the hell I want!

Mr Laing your lack of respect for a city that has offered to educate you and for the very poor souls that lost their lives so you could have that opportunity disgusts me. Your shenanigans are only further highlighted by your appauling taste in smalls, Cerise pink undercrackers??? Delightful. Just one more suggestion, maybe whilst you were in the Frog and Parrot you should have held back on a couple of pints. Not just to save you pissing on the war memorial but so you could afford to get a hair cut.

Go back to were you came from and take your little girls pants with you!

What is Going Wrong with this World

HmmmmmmmmmmmmmmWould someone care to enlighten me as to why anyone actually cares about who an ageing "glamour" (oh the irony of it) model is being staisfied by this week? Why do people care about her divorce? Why do the people that profess to hate her spend absolutely hours trying to defend their stance to those who idolise her?

It is time to move on, stop making this woman money for littering the papers with rubbish.

Of course all those who idolise her will just accuse me of being jealous. Jealous of the money maybe but not jealous of the way it was and is being made. Now Zaha Hadid I am jealous of she a wealthy, respected and intelligent architect. a lady that has gained her respect from her intelligence and her works of art and creativity, a true role model for modern young girls.

Come on girls this is 2009, surely as strong minded women, we aspire to more than public humiliation and media whoring?

so keep your knickers on and your respect in tact.

A Fifth of my wage on Gardening and Cleaning and you Object?

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk_politics/8305327.stm

I quote "Following a meeting of Labour MPs in the Commons, ministers said they expected many MPs to write to Sir Thomas and object to his decision to apply new limits - of £1,000 a year for gardening and £2,000 a year for cleaning."

Would they care to comment to this blog and just clarify they will be objecting as the think such luxuries and ridiculous handouts should be banished totally?

A word from the maungy old mare:

If you can not handle you garden might I suggest you buy a house with a smaller garden or even no garden at all? there will not be a requirement for a gardener then. If you can not manage to clean your own house, might I suggest you buy a smaller one? Or even better live in a tent and then you can take your home with you instead of having a second one! I can assure you they do not take much cleaning either. If a humble call centre like myself can manage to keep an orderly residence, people on your wage have NO excuse.

Is it actually possible for you suited men and women to actually do anything for yourselves? maybe if you spent less time blasting the opposition and spouting rubbish, you would have more time to tend to your garden and dusting and not expect every hard working tax payer in Britain to pay for it.

Object indeed, it is about time the public objected to freeloading, hypocrites like yourselves.

Tell Mummy and Daddy to leave all their coin to Mickey Mouse, you can at least have fun contesting it!

Wills and probate. Preparing for your hard earned wealth to be distributed to loved ones when the time comes for you to slip through those pearly gates.

A legal document that you need to know will stand, as this is one contract you will not be able to fight out in the courts. The one legal document that you have to know will be respected and left as it is.

But oh no, not in Blightey! In the good old UK, if you are disgruntled you are not in a will, kick up a fuss, go on a few morning TV programmes, get some good old media whoring on the go. Play the hard done by relative, insist that no matter what your parents wishes were, your needs are greater and that your father was domineering and forced your mother to sign the will under duress (even though she had 6 years after the fathers death to amend the will). If indeed your father was such a horrific person, who forced your mother into doing things she did not want, why would you want his money?

Now I shall not disclose too much information on my blog about this case as I will probably see myself in court for defamation, anything to get a few more quid eh? Suffice to say the contestors woe is me act on the BBC, was nothing short of bile rising. I hope the other party appeal, they have my backing.

Legal documents? contracts?not worth the paper they are written on, as long as you have MONEY to contest them.

Why I love Park Hill

"Gloriously Grotesque" that is my interpretation of the largest Grade II* listed building in Europe.

A social experiment that went wrong. The product of post war wild ideas and until recently a prison where you were jailed even before you had been held accountable for any misdemeanour. Standing over the steel city, bang slap in the in front of the Sheffield public transport Interchanges, there she is in all her Brutalist Glory: Parkhill.

I can understand why the majority of locals would sooner see Osama Bin Laden be named Mayor of Sheffield than have to endure the dominance of Parkhill on their beloved Sheffield Landscape for any longer. After all it had become a haven for Junkies, crime and prostitution, where the old residents feared to leave their front door, let alone go for a stroll on their "street in the sky". Of course it is the fault of the bricks and mortar that these undesirables were moved onto such estates as Parkhill. Good old Jack Lynn and Ivor Smith put in a lot of hard work and knowledge into a development which was going to rejuvenate The star of the North, Sheffield but the bricks and mortar and the concrete skeleton rebelled and enticed in the wrong uns'.

Replacing disease ridden slums where crime was rife, modernism had provided a new lease of life for residents. No more strolls outside to visit the loo and no climbing over the rats on the way back. Parkhill provided its' residents with luxuries they had never seen. Heating, running water, inside rest room and even a local pub crawl all below your doorstep!

Parkhill was not alone either, nationwide similiar estates were popping up. Most suffered the decline of Parkhill, a great majority having since been demolished but some have managed to rebuild their community spirit. Some have even come to be desirable, notably the Barbican and Goldfingers Trellick Tower, now pop art Icons. All the young and trendies want a part of it (as would I if my cash flow would stretch to the cost of London life).

So if I want to be part of the Northern, Young and Trendy Mob then Parkhill is my golden ticket!

There is something sexy about Parkhill, its' grittiness, its sheer size and the eerie feeling it gives off. As someone who used to hate it but realised there was something there to entice me into researching it further I would encourage anyone before passing judgement on the redevelopment to look a little into how it came to be. The history behind it.

We all judge to easily, a good person can suffer problems that might make them do wrong things. Should we eject this person from our lives forever? Should we not give people that second chance? do we not all deserve that? Who is to say that it was not the effects of the way that person was treated by another that caused the breakdown in the first place?

Parkhill is like that person. Parkhill worked, she was loved, respected, envied all across the country. Then Parkhill was let down, severley let down by those who she was trying to help. Parkhill was not given the proper maintainance, she was used by the people entrusted with her welfare. The council.

Well I for one understand that she can be loved again. We have examples that Brurtalism works if given the right tools to allow it to. The North needs its' Barbican, its' shrine to Modernism and that will be Parkhill.

There is not one person that has a right to determine what is left or not left as real life examples to generations to come of how we lived in days gone by. Whether you like it or not post war Britain is being documented in history and the late 50's and 60's should be remembered as a little more than The Beatles and Cilla Black.



For those that are still not convinced, take a look at how history repeats itself, the clothes, the music and whether you like it or not Brutalist living is coming back and gaining popularity. Millions redeveloping Parkhill for it to fail? It does not add up. Having lived with the bad times, embrace that at last the good times will come again.

Maybe Urban Splash should be forgiven for getting a little giddy with the Artists Impressions, I very much doubt that you will get to see Bertie Basset waving from one of the "streets" but the plans look interesting. My only worry is that too much of the original Parkhill is being destroyed, yes the grim grid remains but is it enough?



I still hope to get my hands on one though, cash providing (penthouse would be nice.) and I hope that when redevelopment is completed those that wanted her flattening to the ground will admit defeat when the new Parkhill is a success because if you do not, what more proof does a Brutalist lover like me need that you never understood and just followed the herd, instead of daring to actually lead it.

No Zs please, we are British!

Now before I begin I will be the first to admit that my English is far from perfect, W.S is not going to be turning in his grave as a result of my online outbursts and attempt at wit and good humour.

My punctuation is dismal and my spelling and grammar also leave a lot to be desired. There are errors in my writings, a great many. Errors through lack of education, or should I say my refusal to embrace the education my parents so enthusiastically tried to persuade me to flourish and prosper in.

I am a proud Yorkshire woman, I am proud of my heritage. I get excited at the prospect of Whippets and bread "wi nowt taken out". Someobody once dared to question the ancestry of the Yorkshire pud, hell had no fury like the wrath I inflicted on any poor sould who dared to come within throwing distance of me that day.

Being from Yorkshire and all the pleasures that stems from it means being an English Citizen, residing in yup, England. A small Island with a remarkable history, an island which at one point owned half the world. Our language is the second most spoken language in the whole world today (only out done by Mandarin, if my research has served me correctly). Does it not make you proud being an English man?



Well actually times have changed. English is no longer the second most widely spoken language in the world. Oh no no it has been overtaken by: "Americanish" and The Bard really is tossing and turning in his resting place.

Please understand I have no qualms about our friends stateside, indeed they have done very well for themselves and become the most powerful nation in the world. Thay are actually entitled to their own interpretation of the language they embraced as their own. The embraced language of course as we all know was "English".

It is good that they have managed to have their own representation of our native tongue. Loving the way those guys have misplaced the odd letter "U" and replaced a few "S"s with a "Z"s, stroke of genius. It can not be argued in the spoken word those S' certainly are pronounced as Z's, unless your American where the last letter in the alphabet is pronounced Zeeeeeeeee.

We have a lot to thank America for: McDonalds, blaming and claiming, pointless and ridiculous health and safety warnings, The Simpsons and the traditional and much loved "school disco" becoming obsolete and replaced by a "prom". All the aforementioned things could be forgiven for finding their way over the Atlantic, if only our English had have remained just that: ENGLISH.

I have lost count of the number of official documents and contracts (that ultimately if ever disputed would be dealt with in the English Courts of law) which have been given to me, where the organisation "recogniZes" something.

The problem as I see it is since the invasion of computers in our lives. I blame MicroZoft. If we are not researching on the net, we are typing on a word processor, computers are everywhere and everything associated with them is yup.. you got it.. American. Yes my spell check is automatically defaulted to "Americanish". I get the little red line of terror under my words if I use too many letters in the word "colour". It is has now become acceptable in England for the native language to take on its American format.

One day I would like to visit the US of A. Please do not think my rantings are aimed at America, not at all. My rant is aimed at the fact that as a Nation we seem to have lost all interest in our culture, our history and what defines being English/ British.

So next time another British organisation forces another boring and pointless document, full of jargon and Americanish I am going to repsond by signing and dating it in Mandarin, followed by a little note: 您能否讲英语？

A terrible translation from Babel fish, My mandarin is as good as their English!

So please guys, one favoUr:

No Zs please we are British!

The Trials and Tribulations of Working Hard and Playing Hard.

Working class citizens, we work and we have class. I feel somehow the interpretation of the class system has been either totally lost or has become a little fuzzy around the edges.

It all came about after a Vodka induced and heated debate with my significant other about what class my parents fell into. They were not born into "money" and any money there was had been earnt by mother and father ie: my grandparents worked. So to me that would suggest that for generations my family has been working class? Apparantly not, your class is not determined by the fact you WORK or how hard you graft, it is determined on how well you hard graft pays off. Yes it is all about the readies!

You can actually move out of the working class category by working damn hard, the fact you still work is now irelevant as you have cried, pushed, grafted and found you way to that much coverted "middle class". Maybe a detatched 4 bed house in suburbia, three kids a dog, a couple of Caribbean Holidays every year and the token BMW estate with a little Merc roadster for the missus. Well done old boy! You have shaken off that degrading title and membership of the "working class" The Tories will be rubbing their hands together, another vote is coming their way!

Of course the majority of the "upper class" have quite probably never done a hard days work in their lives, there is far too much Krug and white powder to be enjoyed. Getting Tarquin to Eton is a requirement of being "upper class" Tarquin needs the best education at Britains costliest public school, followed by a place at Oxbridge. Only the best for Tarquin. Not that old Tarq will really ever benefit from it, he knows he is going to be wealthy and that silver spoon will be attached to his stiff upper lip for decades to come. It is not that I am jealous of Tarq and his daddies Bentley I just do not understand it. You do not work your way into the upper class, you are born into it and where is the fun and satisfaction in that? Where is the sense of achievement? maybe in a rolled up twenty pound note, next to Columbias finest and daddies platinum card.

You see the misconception as I see it is that the "middle class" are really the working class. Society sees the chavs and the dregs of society, who are too idle to wipe their own bottoms let alone hold down a job as the "working class". People with on "benefits" and yes thats the key "benefits". Handouts to the laziest to buy their drugs and beer. Handouts to give them a cosey council house, paid for by the silly bastards that are members of the "middle class"

There is a connection here, the "middle class" who "work" are giving a large chunk of their earnings to the state to pay for others to exist. Lets put this into perspective if this is the case then HM Elizabeth and Phillip and the arrogant, self opinionated Charlie boy are by definition: "working class" They get the most "benefits" out of anyone one. The best paid unemployed people in the world.

If you work, you are "working class" It does not matter what the work is or how much it pays, you "work" for it aswell as working for everyone else who can not be bothered or thinks it is their right to be paid for by the likes of us.

So whilst I am sat here with a stonking headache ( the product of the Vodka I mentioned earlier) trying to get the words in my open university text books to sink in, hoping that my hard "work" will eventually provide me with opportunities suitable enough to move me into the "middle class" I begin to realise that I will always be "working class"

I have been brought up to work for what I have, it is a respectable and satisfying thing to and by being in the "working class" it is perfectly acceptable to go out at the weekend after a week working hard in a job you hate and get absolutly shit faced. You can do that in the working class, I might invite Tarquin out one night, see what he makes of it all.

It is not easy being in a mundane job. It causes stress and anxiety but it feeds the determination to better ones self. It gives you a purpose, a goal and ambition. It pushes you harder and harder and makes you a stronger and more focused person. It grounds you but more importantly it gives you the excuse for a bloody large Vodka on A Saturday night, because you have earnt it!

The Spammers take sanctuary in Brutalism

Having just sat and drank four cups of coffee strong enough to fuel one a Nasa Rocket, I am attempting to concentrate on my study. I keep venturing back to the my Parkhill website, only to find YET AGAIN it has been trolled and spammed by some of the internets most retarded users. Why on Earth they would want to ask for opinions on the end of the world on a website dedicated to Brutalism is beyond me!

Do not get me wrong I appreciate Brutalism is not everyones cup of tea. I understand that to many people, these monumentous constructions are nothing more than despised blots on the landscapes.... but come on comparing it to the Apocalypse is just a tad OTT.

I would also like to state to the very forthcoming Cigarette and drugs vendors that had taken shelter thanks to my blood, sweat and tears, the following: Maybe many smokes and drug indulgences have been enjoyed in these buildings but I am afraid the majority of people that visit the website for genuine reasons will not be interested in importing 200,000 fake Camel cigarettes with enough carcogens to wipe out the entire population of the Isle of Wight.

Also most certainly I would like to think that anyone classy enough to visit my Parkhill website site would not need any help "rising to the occasion" and if they did have medical issues in that department they would be intelligent enough to seek medical intervention.

Some might say I should be grateful my website is getting even a couple of hits, when the subject matter is so boring even if it is from the Nigerian Mafia, (personally I feel it is anything but boring I find it a captivating subject! but when half the population can not find anything other than Bruce Forsyth and some men in sequins and Simon Cowell and his cash cows on a Saturday night interesting, who am I to argue?)

Or maybe they are all correct, maybe I should just be grateful that at least someone is showing an interest in Brutalism, even if it is for all the wrong reasons. Maybe they could donate some of their earnings from their death laced cancer sticks towards me, so I can afford a Parkhill Flat in 2010.

Maybe but maybe not!

Brutalism lives on!!

What do we have here?

Testing, Testing


Oh we are in are we?